Thursday, June 17, 2010

I wrote this story tell me what you think (H.P doesnt belong to me)?

Hermione walked back to the common room. It was exactly one week before graduation and she had a lot of studying to get done if she wanted to be accepted into the Young Woman鈥檚 School of Witchery and Spells. She could hardly believe exactly seven years ago she had walked up these exact stairs, terrified of what lay ahead of her. How she had changed! She went from the nerdy girl with the poofy hair who cared more about school than her friends to the girl who still cared about her grades but had invested in a hair straighter and some makeup. She also had a new appreciation for her friends and regretted being a know-it-all to them the first few years at Hogwarts.



She walked up the stairs and into the common room. She walked over to her bed and lay down. It was late 鈥?too late for anyone to still be awake. She glanced at the clock on the wall. It was midnight already. Hermione rolled her eyes. Not another sleepless night. This was the third night in a row Hermione found herself unable to sleep at night. Was it the tension of graduating? Not seeing her best friends Harry and Ron every day? She decided to go for a walk. Walking always seemed to ease her tension.



Hermione got out of bed, slipped on her robe and headed back out the common room and down the stairs. She hoped she wouldn鈥檛 wake anyone 鈥?especially Professor Snape who was always was on her, Ron鈥檚, and Harry鈥檚 case. Even after seven years, he still gave her the creeps. Hermione headed out to the gardens. They were always a good place to come in finish some homework 鈥?or just sit and think.



As she made her way over to the big tree that sat on a hill overlooking the gardens, she noticed a shadow leaning against the tree. Who would be silly enough to be out here this late, she thought. She was surprised to see it was Draco Malfoy 鈥?her long-time enemy and rival.



鈥淢alfoy?鈥?she asked.



鈥淕ranger!鈥?he seemed just as surprised to see her as she was to see him, 鈥淲hat are you doing here?鈥?br> 鈥淚 couldn鈥檛 sleep鈥︹€?she said.



鈥淥h.鈥?br> 鈥淚 usually come here to just think. May I ask why you are here?鈥?br> 鈥淪ame reason you are. I couldn鈥檛 sleep either.鈥?br>



He turned away and continued to look out straight ahead, ignoring her presence. She nervously took a seat next to him.



鈥淲hat are you nervous about, Granger?鈥?Draco asked, 鈥淵ou have your whole life set for you.鈥?br> 鈥淗a!鈥?Hermione burst, 鈥淵eah right. I am just as nervous as everyone else. What if I don鈥檛 get accepted into the Young Women鈥檚 School of Witchery and Spells?鈥?br> 鈥淕od, Granger!鈥?Draco rolled his eyes, 鈥淵ou are set. You aren鈥檛 even a wizard and you made it into Hogwarts! Don鈥檛 worry about the school of witchery. You鈥檒l get in.鈥?br> 鈥淩eally?鈥?Hermione was shocked at his sudden kindness towards her.



鈥淵eah. As for me, my life isn鈥檛 quite so set.鈥?br> 鈥淲hat do you mean?鈥?she asked, 鈥淵ou are going to become a Death Eater and work for Voldemort and follow in your father鈥檚 footsteps鈥︹€?br> 鈥淕ranger, ever thought that that isn鈥檛 what I want to do with my life? Ever thought I don鈥檛 want to kill and torture innocent people? Ever thought I don鈥檛 want to be like my father.鈥?br> 鈥淲hat are you saying?鈥?she asked, 鈥淵ou don鈥檛 want to kill mudbloods? Seems to me, mudbloods didn鈥檛 matter much when you called me one.鈥?br> 鈥淎bout that,鈥?Draco looked down at his hands, 鈥淚 am sorry.鈥?br> 鈥淵ou鈥檙e sorry?鈥?Hermione burst, 鈥淵ou are sorry!鈥?br> 鈥淵eah, I know it is hard for you to understand but I am. You see, my father is very controlling. He has been all my life. If I don鈥檛 act like him, if I don鈥檛 do as he wishes, it could mean danger for me.鈥?br> 鈥淒anger?鈥?br> 鈥淵eah. Look Granger, you have a dad that loves you. My dad beats the crap out of me to build me up and make me stronger. If I don鈥檛 do what he asks鈥︹€?br> 鈥淥h my God!鈥?Hermione wanted to put her arms around him and give him a huge hug. She had now idea he might have been forced into acting the way he did. She knew Mr. Malfoy and she knew what a menace he could be. She never thought that he could be cruel enough to put his own son in danger.



鈥淵eah. He鈥檚 a real piece of work. But now I am being forced into being a death eater.鈥?br> 鈥淵ou don鈥檛 have to. You could go to Dumbledore. He would protect you!鈥?br> 鈥淣o!鈥?Draco cried, 鈥淣o one must know of this, got it Granger. So do not go blabbing that big mouth of yours!鈥?he smirked, allowing his smirk to turn into a grin. Hermione had never seen him smile an honest smile. It was pleasant. He wasn鈥檛 half bad looking when he smiled. In fact, he almost looked, dare she say it, somewhat cute. What was she saying? This was Malfoy she was talking about. The same Malfoy who called her a 鈥渇ilthy mudblood鈥?the same Malfoy who made her and her friends lives at Hogwarts a living hell. How could she possibly think he was cute? But then again, if he was being truthful, he really hadn鈥檛 wanted to be mean to her.



鈥淥h shut up,鈥?she returned his smile.



鈥淵ou know, I didn鈥檛 want to call you and your friends some of the things I did. I mean, I was just scared. My father knows everything I do, he sees everything. I couldn鈥檛 be鈥ice.鈥?br> 鈥淚鈥 understand,鈥?she stammered, 鈥淚 forgive you. But you are acting nice now鈥lmost civilized even.鈥?br> 鈥淢e? Nice?鈥?Draco laughed, 鈥淪hut up or I shall call you mudblood again just for you to take that back.鈥?br> 鈥淚 will never take it back,鈥?she smirked.



鈥淥oh!鈥?Draco grabbed her, pulled her down so she was laying flat on her back and began to tickle her stomach.



鈥淒raco!鈥?Hermione cried, 鈥淒raco, stop it!鈥?she went into fits of uncontrollable giggles as he tickled her harder and harder.



鈥淭ake it back!鈥?Draco grinned, working his way up to her ribs.



鈥淣ever!鈥?br> 鈥淲ell then, I really didn鈥檛 want to have to do this but鈥︹€?he grabbed her thin sides and began to tickle her harder and harder.



鈥淒raco!鈥?she squirmed, 鈥淪top, please, stop!鈥?br> 鈥淣ever.鈥?br> 鈥淎lright,鈥?she was out of breath now as his fingers jabbed in and out each rib, 鈥淵ou鈥檙e evil, happy?鈥?br> 鈥淗mm? What was that?鈥?he grinned, working back to her stomach, his pale fingers dancing over her curves.



鈥淚 said you are evil!鈥?Hermione burst out.



鈥淚 can鈥檛 hear you,鈥?he tickled harder and harder.



鈥淵OU ARE EVIL!鈥?she shouted.



鈥淲hy thank you!鈥?Draco smiled, 鈥淏ut don鈥檛 think I will stop.鈥?br> 鈥淵ou promised!鈥?br> 鈥淚 never promised I would stop. I might just sit here and tickle you forever and ever and ever,鈥?his fingers worked back up to her ribs. He was surprised at how skinny she was. Her frail body bucked and arched at each touch. Draco was worried she was going to hurt herself so he got on top of her, straddled her, and tickled her harder and harder and harder.



鈥淢ALFOY!鈥?Hermione giggled, 鈥淧lease, please stop it!鈥?she was out of breath.



鈥淎lright, alright,鈥?Malfoy got up off of her and held her little body in his arms.



鈥淚 hate you,鈥?she said.



鈥淣o you don鈥檛,鈥?Draco grinned.



鈥淗ow do you know?鈥?she asked.



鈥淏ecause you loved that.鈥?br> 鈥淣o I didn鈥檛.鈥?br> 鈥淵es you did. Tell me, when was the last time someone tickled you?鈥?br> 鈥淲ell鈥ever.鈥?br> 鈥淓xactly. You needed to loosen up. Besides, I see it in your eyes, you liked it.鈥?br>



Hermione blushed. She had liked it鈥he liked it a lot. Malfoy was different. She had misjudged him all these years and now after next week, they would never see each other again. She felt a pang of sadness in her chest. Draco seemed to notice this.



鈥淲hat鈥檚 wrong?鈥?he asked.



鈥淚 misjudged you,鈥?she said, 鈥淎ll that time we could have been possibly friends is wasted.鈥?br> 鈥淲e are friends now though.鈥?br> 鈥淏ut it can鈥檛 possibly be. Your father鈥︹€?br> 鈥淚 don鈥檛 care. He can鈥檛 hurt me any worse than he has in the past. Besides Granger, I want to be friends with you.鈥?br> 鈥淩eally?鈥?br> 鈥淵eah.鈥?br> 鈥淭hanks, Draco,鈥?Hermione leaned her head against his shoulder and looked up at the stars, 鈥淭hey are beautiful, aren鈥檛 they?鈥?br> 鈥淭hat they are,鈥?Draco said as Hermione lay across him on her stomach, 鈥淚 love the stars.鈥?br> 鈥淚 do too,鈥?she giggled as he drew small little invisible drawings on her back.



鈥淢y, my, aren鈥檛 we ticklish,鈥?he grinned.



鈥淥h hush!鈥?she rolled her eyes, trying not to squirm under his fingers.



鈥淕ranger, I have a confession to make.鈥?br> 鈥淵ou can tell me,鈥?she smiled.



鈥淎lright. The truth is, I have always liked you. Ever since the first day I saw you I thought you were wonderful. I just couldn鈥檛 show you my true feelings. My dad and all鈥 just couldn鈥檛.鈥?br> 鈥淒raco,鈥?Hermione whispered, 鈥淚 have liked you since the day I met you.鈥?br> 鈥淩eally?鈥?br> 鈥淵es, but I never imagined you liked me too.鈥?br> 鈥淵es, I do.鈥?br>



He began to draw more on her back, letting his hands slip down to her ribs causing her to squeal a little and slap his hand away.



鈥淵ou are adorable,鈥?he grinned.



鈥淣o one has called me adorable before,鈥?Hermione smiled.



鈥淲ell you are,鈥?Draco grinned, standing up and pulling her to her feet.



鈥淚 guess we better be getting back,鈥?she said, a little disappointed.



鈥淵eah, I guess,鈥?Draco took her hand and walked with her slowly.



鈥淒raco, you aren鈥檛 evil one bit,鈥?Hermione laughed.



鈥淥h, you are going to regret that, babe!鈥?he yelled as she squirmed out of his hand and ran through the rose garden with him hot on her heals, 鈥淛ust you wait, you are gonna get it!鈥?br> 鈥淚f you can catch me first!鈥?she giggled as he grabbed her and tackled her to the ground.



鈥淪eems I already have,鈥?Draco grinned, attacking her stomach with his skinny fingers.



鈥淒raco!鈥?she cried, 鈥淣OO!鈥?br> 鈥淲hat?鈥?he asked, leaning forward and planting a big kiss on her as he traced her neck with one finger causing her to moan.



鈥淚 like that,鈥?she smiled.



鈥淲hat, this?鈥?he asked, doing it again, this time he added his other hand tickling her sides. She giggled harder and harder.



鈥淒raco,鈥?she said, as he leaned in for another kiss.



鈥淲hat is it?鈥?he asked, he had stopped tickling her and was now just kissing her neck.



鈥淲hat am I going to do without you?鈥?she asked.



鈥淏e miserable,鈥?he nuzzled her neck.



鈥淣o, you know. When we go back to school for this last week, how will it be between us?鈥?br> 鈥淲ell, considering I like you and you like me, I think we should consider the possibility of being together every chance we get.鈥?br> 鈥淲hat am I going to do when you become a death eater?鈥?br> 鈥淥h baby,鈥?he grabbed her and held her tightly in his arms, 鈥淒on鈥檛 worry, baby, God, baby I didn鈥檛 even consider that,鈥?Draco said, gasping. He sounded close to crying.



鈥淚 want to be with you鈥︹€?br> 鈥淚 want to be with you too but I don鈥檛 know if that is possible.鈥?br> 鈥淒raco, we fly on brooms and make potions. Don鈥檛 ever think something isn鈥檛 possible.鈥?br> 鈥淏ut I don鈥檛 know what to do!鈥?br> 鈥淣either do I, but we will think of something, I promise.鈥?br> 鈥淚 hope so,鈥?he took her hand in his and began walking back into the school.



鈥淗ow late is it?鈥?she asked as he pulled out a pocket watch.



鈥淭wo in the morning.鈥?br> 鈥淣ice, I have a potions final tomorrow.鈥?br> 鈥淚 do too,鈥?he grinned, 鈥淏ut I can assure you, I won鈥檛 be thinking of potions.鈥?br> 鈥淣either will I,鈥?she smiled.



鈥淲ell here is where we say goodbye,鈥?Malfoy said, glancing down to the Griffindor hallway and then the Slitherine hallway.



鈥淒raco鈥︹€?br> 鈥淗mm?鈥?br> 鈥淕oodnight.鈥?br> 鈥淥h, goodnight,鈥?he said as he turned to go down the Slitherine hall.



鈥淢alfoy!鈥?Hermione chased after him, flung her arms around him, and gave him a huge kiss, 鈥淕oodnight.鈥?br>



The next day



Hermione awoke with a start. She had the perfect plan on how she and Draco could be together! All she would have to do was find him and go find Dumbledore. She quickly got dressed and raced down the hallway and right into Draco.



鈥淚 am so sorry!鈥?she said, flustered.



鈥淒on鈥檛 be,鈥?he grinned, she looked up and saw him.



鈥淥h, Draco! I didn鈥檛 know it was you.鈥?br> 鈥淚 came to see you,鈥?he smiled.



鈥淚 was coming to see you. I have a plan.鈥?br> 鈥淵ou do?鈥?br> 鈥淵es, I do. But come with me, we have to hurry.鈥?br> 鈥淯mm鈥lright,鈥?he grabbed her hand as she drug him down the hallway to Dumbledore鈥檚 office.



鈥淒umbledore!鈥?she cried, 鈥淎re you there?鈥? He opened the door, shocked to see her standing there, and holding Draco鈥檚 hand at that.



鈥淢iss Granger, Mr. Malfoy, to what do I owe the pleasure? Let me guess, you two have fallen for each other and want to be together and want to escape the ridicule of a forbidden relationship. You also want to get away from Mr. Malfoy, am I right?鈥?br> 鈥淗ow did you know?鈥?Hermione asked.



鈥淚 saw it all in the fountain.鈥?br> 鈥淭he fountain,鈥?Dumbledore said, 鈥淪hows all secrets, such as the one you two are trying to keep. The fountain also shows your destinies. It is against policy to let students see their own destinies and I will not allow it. However, I am going to step out for a moment. Make sure you two don鈥檛 do anything foolish, like drop a strand of both your hairs into the fountain and tap it with your index finger,鈥?Dumbledore winked and walked out of his office.



鈥淚 don鈥檛 like the looks of this,鈥?Draco said, 鈥淲hat if we are not supposed to be together?鈥?br> 鈥淏ut what if we are?鈥?br> 鈥淏ut what if it shows us being torn apart. I can not watch that, Hermione.鈥?br> 鈥淚 know. I am just as scared as you are, but we have got to try it. Now give me a strand of your hair,鈥?Draco pulled out a strand and gave it to her. She dropped her hair as well as his into the fountain and tapped the surface with her index finger.



鈥淟ook!鈥?she pointed. There in the fountain were Hermione and Draco. They looked older than they did now but they were holding hands and two children were standing beside them.



鈥淲e have children!鈥?Malfoy cried.



鈥淲e have each other!鈥?they held each other in their arms, tears streaming down their faces, 鈥淭his is our destiny,鈥?she sobbed, 鈥淥ur destiny is to be together!鈥?br> 鈥淏ut how鈥ow is that even possible?鈥?Draco asked, 鈥淢y father would kill me and then slowly torture you. I have watched him torture muggles. It is an ugly, painful thing. I can not bear to put you in danger.鈥?br> 鈥淏ut we are meant to be!鈥?br> 鈥淎h-hem,鈥?Dumbledore cleared his throat, 鈥淚 trust you two didn鈥檛 use the fountain, did you?鈥?br> 鈥淒umbledore,鈥?Draco asked, 鈥淒id you know our destinies?鈥?br> 鈥淚 have known from the moment I saw you two. You are meant to be together.鈥?br> 鈥淗ow can we though?鈥?Draco asked.



鈥淭here is a spell鈥︹€?br> 鈥淥h Dumbledore!鈥?Hermione said, eagerly, 鈥淭ell us!鈥?br> 鈥淚t is a transportation spell. It is risky though. There is a world much like the muggle world but where Voldimort and his minions can not reach you. That includes Mr. Malfoy. You two shall be safe there, if you make it.鈥?br> 鈥淚f?鈥?Draco asked.



鈥淟ike I said, it is risky. I have never personally tried it. If it doesn鈥檛 work, you two shall never see each other again.鈥?br> 鈥淎nd if it does?鈥?



鈥淭hen you two shall be together for eternity.鈥?br> 鈥淚 like the sound of being with you for eternity,鈥?Hermione said.



鈥淚 do too,鈥?Draco said, 鈥淏ut I am scared. If it doesn鈥檛 work, I might not see you鈥ver.鈥?br> 鈥淣ow, now,鈥?Dumbledore said, 鈥淣one of that thinking. Love can do miracles and from the looks of it, you two have love stronger than any magic. I have no doubt in my mind that it will not work on you.鈥?br> 鈥淩eally?鈥?Draco asked.



鈥淩eally. I am going to find my spell book. Go gather your things and meet me here after your studies today.鈥?br>



Hermione and Draco decided it would be best not to tell their friends about their plan. They would just say they were going away. Hermione found Ron and Harry in the dining hall.



鈥淗ey!鈥?they called to her.



鈥淗ey,鈥?she said, 鈥淕uys, I need to talk to you.鈥?br> 鈥淪ure thing,鈥?Ron said, 鈥淲hat鈥檚 up?鈥?br> 鈥淲ell鈥︹€?she paused, 鈥淚 have to go away.鈥?br> 鈥淥h, okay, see ya when you get back,鈥?Harry said.



鈥淣o鈥o, it isn鈥檛 like that,鈥?she bowed her head, 鈥淚 can never see you again. But I will tell you one thing; I will be very happy and very safe where I am going 鈥?much safer than I have ever been in my life. And I will be happy.鈥?br> 鈥淗ermione鈥︹€?br> 鈥淕uys, I love you very much, you are all like brothers to me. I will miss you very much. You have meant so much to me over the years,鈥?she let a tear fall down her cheek and notice Harry鈥檚 eyes were red and moist and Ron鈥檚 cheeks were wet with tears.



鈥淩on鈥︹€?br> 鈥淚 am not crying, I am not crying, I am not crying,鈥?he said. She couldn鈥檛 help but laugh.



鈥淪omeday, Dumbledore will explain everything to you. But as for now, trust me on this. I will think of you always.鈥?br> 鈥淗ermione,鈥?Harry said, 鈥淎s long as you are safe and happy that is fine.鈥?br> 鈥淚 will miss you鈥︹€?Ron said, looking down and fiddling with his breakfast roll.



鈥淚 will miss you too,鈥?she kissed them both on the cheek and turned quickly to leave.



鈥淒amn, if I鈥檇 known that was what our goodbye was going to be like I would have left a long time ago,鈥?Ron said, touching his cheek.



鈥淪he is happy,鈥?Harry smiled, 鈥淎ll we have ever wanted was her happiness.鈥?br>



After school, Hermione met Draco in Dumbledore鈥檚 office. They both looked worn and tired. They both knew today was probably one of the hardest days in their lives.



鈥淚 am still scared,鈥?Draco said.



鈥淚 am too, but our love is strong, stronger than any magic.鈥?br> 鈥淏ut I am still scared.鈥?br> 鈥淚 am too,鈥?Hermione gulped and they held each other in their arms until Dumbledore returned.



鈥淣ow then,鈥?he said, 鈥淵ou two stay in that position, hold on tightly to one another and close your eyes. Now remember this, if you ever need me,鈥?he draped a pendant over their necks, 鈥淧ress the stone and I shall come. I am always there for my students, even long after they leave me. Now focus on your love for each other, focus, focus, focus. Don鈥檛 loose concentration, now!鈥?he snapped his fingers. Smoke and sparks filled his office. When the smoke cleared, Dumbledore smiled to himself, closed his book, and went to find Mr. Potter and Mr. Weasly 鈥?he had a certain transportation spell to teach them. After all, he wouldn鈥檛 want them to never see their best friend ever again.



Hermione opened her eyes. She glanced around at where she was. It looked much like the muggle world. The streets were full of people and there were stores and houses the only difference was everything was happy. There was a certain ease about the place, a certain feeling to it. This place was relaxed, calming. Then it hit her 鈥?where was Draco!



鈥淒raco!鈥?she called, 鈥淒raco!鈥?she fell to her knees and sobbed. The spell hadn鈥檛 worked. Their love wasn鈥檛 strong enough and had failed them. As she was sobbing, she felt a hand on her shoulder.



鈥淵ou didn鈥檛 think I would leave you to spend eternity by yourself, did you?鈥?Draco asked, lifting her up.



鈥淒raco!鈥?she sobbed, 鈥淲e did it! Oh, Draco!鈥?br> 鈥淵es, we did it,鈥?he smiled, his eyes were moist with tears, 鈥淲e did it!鈥?he grabbed her and lifted her high in the air and swung her around and around in circles, 鈥淚 love you!鈥?he said.



鈥淚 love you too!鈥?she cried.



I wrote this story tell me what you think (H.P doesnt belong to me)?

very nice; different than the traditional story but very well written; good job!



I wrote this story tell me what you think (H.P doesnt belong to me)?

where is the story



I wrote this story tell me what you think (H.P doesnt belong to me)?

It needs quite a bit of work, still. The names of the characters are awkward. There are misspellings. There is a broken repetitious line in the story. The story itself is not bad, it's a good storyline but it needs to flow a lot smoother. If would suggest becoming a member at %26lt;www.fanstory.com/%26gt; if you're interested in critiques. There's a lot of helpful advice on that site.

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